Okay, so I know it's not Friday...it's Tuesday. Here's my confession, I started this post on Friday, but didn't finish it. AND...maybe I'm just ready for Friday again...so, I didn't want to change the title.
The weekend was really wonderful. We didn't do anything! Well, we ran a couple of errands, but not too much. It was great just staying home together and resting. We both were sick, sick, sick, and it was nice to take care of ourselves; we watched a couple of movies and tried a couple new recipes. Some of which were delicious and another that we will not do again. We caught up on past episodes of Heroes. It was a lazy, lazy weekend.
On Sunday, Mike and I had a wonderful conversation about the "hard news" I posted in a previous blog. Basically, we are deciding what's next with our careers and life. Mike, because of lack of funding, had to go to very part-time ministry work, and we are left with him looking for a second job. The past two weeks have been tough. We've had fights, cried, and loved each other through it. As a result of Sunday's great talk, we feel like we finally have some semblance of direction, which is so nice and reassuring.
Today, I was reminded that our souls are still raw from the part-time business. Even while there's this feeling of hopefulness and direction, we can still be in a hard place. It's still a tough place; there's still a lot of hard work to be done. I can't rush into this new direction and forget that my husband is still processing...that I'm still processing. Does this make sense? It's like I want to say because we feel like we have a direction, we're all better now. The truth is the Lord is healing us, but we (mostly I) have to actually walk through the process. It's not an instantaneous fix.
It's such a good reminder about life...that there can be goodness and hopefulness in the middle of a desperate and tough spot. We can keep moving forward because God is giving Mike and me the strength to take one step at a time. That's all we can do really...
Friday, January 29, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
On Thursday, Mike and I got some really hard news. I mean, hard. (I'm not going to go into what it is, but you may ask me in person). It leaves us with some tough questions and decisions. We're frustrated, angry, sad, and a bit fearful. At the end of the day, we are left in the hands of Jesus. Trusting him. Needing him. Asking him to do a miracle. Say a little prayer for us.
How does all of this affect this whole "being healthy" goal? It all comes down to discipline. When we got the news, I didn't open the fridge and go for the ice cream. On Friday, I did have a grilled cheese for lunch (a major comfort food for me), but I didn't de-rail from the path. I decided to exercise on Saturday, even though we're out of town for the weekend. I joined my mother-in-law in a great spin class at her gym in Raleigh. She was gracious enough to let me use her guest pass. It's been a good and comforting weekend to be with family and friends this weekend.
In the past, when I've gotten tough news, I stopped doing things that were healthy for me. I stopped exercising and mostly eating right; it was like my motivation was gone. This time, I am more motivated to stay the course. It's almost as if I can stay physically healthy that it will help me be healthy in other parts of life. Trust me friends, in the coming weeks, I'm going to need every little extra motivation I can get so that all areas of life are healthy and in correct perspective.
Monday, January 11, 2010
First off, let me say, I know I've misquoted The Sandlot, but for my purposes it works. Today, while at the gym, I was running my usual 30 minutes, and I wanted to cheat! I didn't start walking even though everything in my being wanted me to. My goal during these first few sessions is to slowly bump up my speed on the treadmill. It's working! I've improved my time by .12 miles in the first week. Whoo-hoo! Today was a victory. Good thing because tomorrow is a weigh-day.
I've discovered something about myself in the process of running. At some point during my run (and sometimes during all points), I want to quit. I don't want to run, get sweaty or be out of breath. I want to go home, sit in front of the TV and eat lots of junk food. However, I'm in this contest and can't quit. In order to win, I have to keep at it. I don't get to stop in the middle of a run or the middle of a month. I sure do feel good after a run though.
This little verse spoke so much to me a couple of months ago and has helped to prepare me for this contest. "If anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor's crown unless he competes according to the rules" 2 Timothy 2:5. More importantly, this scripture reminds me to stay disciplined, which has never been something I'm good at. More thoughts on discipline later.
I could use some good suggestions for protein-rich vegetarian dishes if anyone out there has any. I'm also on the hunt for an iphone armband to wear while running if you have a suggestion or two.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Three days ago, I joined a Biggest Loser competition with a group of friends (and some strangers), which means I've been hungry for 3 days. I've decided to start a blog about this journey to help process all of my thoughts along the way. My goal is to lose 15% of my body weight by eating healthy and exercising in the next 3 months.
The next couple of weeks, I will be learning a lot about self-discipline--not a strong suit of mine. I am eager to develop more discipline in the next couple of weeks. I will be running, eating healthier, and reminding myself that I can meet this goal. Please feel free to send encouragement and recipes my way! :)
Perhaps along the way, I'll discover the rumblings of my soul. For now, I'm still hungry and hear the rumblings of my tummy...